My emails are sporadic, so in case you forgot…
I’m Terri. An editorial consultant, speaker and independent journalist who talks feelings, personal development, and some money tips all wrapped up in empathy.
Late last year, I did something I told myself not to do.
That led to doing something the social media influencers told me not to do.
Doing it led to an outcome better than I could ever imagine.
Consider this a lesson on breaking the rules and trusting your judgement…
Somehow most of us got the memo to stop answering the doorbell unless it’s Halloween. We all figured out that those seemingly innocent text messages are probably spam. And somehow, many of us made the connection that answering an unknown number isn’t worth risking AI turning you into a false victim of kidnapping.
So answering a text message from someone I didn’t know, followed by answering a call from an unknown number, was an inexplicable act.
Finally accepting a last-minute invitation to an event I had no recollection of was peak, “I don’t know who this girl is.”
The only thing I got out of that call was the relation to “Johnson + Johnson” - a company I’ve long had on my list of companies I’d like to consult with.
So with some hesitation, I said “Yes,” to attending something… unsure exactly of what that something was.
It turns out that something was the HealthEVoices Conference I had applied for much earlier in the year. And I didn’t regret it…
You can’t fight isolation by repeatedly and inherently choosing isolation
Because I answered the call, I found myself…
In a room centered on the bad side of disability, filled with people collectively fighting for the good
seamlessly jumping in and out of my roles as an innovative thinker/writer, wife, and mom
spontaneously exploring the Princeton Art Museum with a stranger I vibed with
connecting with business-minded people to explore future opportunities
Watching an unimaginable and accessibility-focused open mic night dripping with swag by disabled performers.
It was an amazing experience, and none of it would have happened if I got in my head and let social media “invite law” takeover
Every last-minute invitation isn’t a sign of disrespect.
You’ve likely seen people share posts on social media that sound something like…
- “A late invitation to speak at a conference is a slap in the face to their art, so I won’t go.”
“I’m not your sloppy-seconds. If you want me in the room, you need to reach out to me early. My time is precious.”
- “I don’t do last-minute invitations. That means you didn’t think of me the first time around.”
All of which makes sense to a degree…
Conversely, is it fair to expect you can build a community with that mentality?
This newsletter is a labor of Love…
A labor of love that took me nearly 6 hours to write. But love doesn’t pay the bills. If you love what I’m doing, consider buying me a pizza. If you want to spread the love, share the link to my page with someone who needs it. It’s free and public!
You can’t fight isolation by repeatedly and inherently choosing isolation regardless of the circumstances.
The Truth: You need to get over yourself.
Some late invitations aren’t about you. Instead, they could be about a technical difficulty or even anxiety. Some people are so impressed by you that inviting you is intimidating because they fear your rejection.
And sometimes, it really is that you weren’t the first choice to be in the room… which hurts.
But does being a late invite mean attending won’t be a worthwhile experience? Sure, it may be inconvenient. But you can’t expect to build community on convenience.
In my case, I KNOW I wasn’t the first choice to be a conference attendee. I had no idea what I was getting into, and it was extremely inconvenient considering we had prior commitments with the kids. But I went anyway because I trusted myself to navigate the situation even if it was a disaster.
Sometimes, finding your people requires you to say yes to the invitation, even if it doesn’t abide by your rules.
That doesn’t mean that EVERY late invitation is worthy of your attendance. But it does mean you need to consider them case-by-case and trust your judgement in the process.
So the next time you receive a late invitation, consider this…
Perhaps you were invited because you were meant to be in the room.
This person/place was on your radar for a reason.
You’ve longed to be in a certain room.
You’ve done your due diligence
You may be long overdue for saying yes to an adventure.
Then ask yourself this: “Am I called to decline based on principle or something else?”
Accepting could be beneficial even if the invitation doesn’t come in the manner you expected.
You know you can trust your judgement if you’ve done the work
If, for some reason, it doesn’t go the way you thought it would, trust yourself to figure out the next best steps and be proud you said “yes” to an adventure.
That last-minute invitation could be the one that leads to a new community or opportunity you never saw coming.
Listen To This…
A real, raw, and uncut audio clip. In 10 minutes, learn why a meditation circle may be the best place for the socially awkward and introverted to meet new friends and find community.
No small talk. Just sit down, close your eyes, or keep them open… and somehow walk out feeling closer to people who get you.
Happy Life Tip
Gather proof of humanity and keep it close
Hope is a key component to seeing progress and precedes action. Yet, it’s tough to keep hope alive when the sky is falling and social media constantly reminds you of it. That’s why I created a folder within my social media accounts called “proof of humanity.” It’s where I collect the random posts and videos displaying the light in this world. I turn to it when the world around me is heavy. When feeling disheartened, turn to your “proof of humanity” files. Hopefully, your selected collection will instill enough hope to help you move forward in whatever way makes sense.
Interesting links from around the web… (Some of these might be affiliate links)
This free game helps you manage when feeling “off.”
An app that is part marketplace and part mutual fund for Black-owned businesses
When thoughts are too loud to meditate, I stick to mindful activities instead
My favorite place to get books besides the library
It’s hard not to like Kerry Washington even more after this
Partiful is so much better than Evite or Paperless Post. I’ve hosted two events with it.
Still new to it, but it’s helping us stay organized.
The plan is to host more events, so follow along.
Need a pep talk? Let’s chat.
Want to work with me? Book a consult
I sincerely hope these links and tips bring you to a better place mentally. If nothing else, please take this with you and repeat it daily as needed.
"I am safe for others. It’s time I learn to be safe for me. "
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