What we all need to know about community

You're not as alone as you think you are...

Author

Terri Huggins
February 03, 2025

My emails are sporadic, so in case you forgot…

I’m Terri. A speaker, editorial consultant and independent journalist who talks feelings, personal development, and some money tips all wrapped up in empathy.

When was the last time you read about or heard someone preach the importance of a village or community? It’s hard to go too long without hearing the sentiment.

It can also be hard not to role your eyes when the sentiment is mentioned. The reality is that a community is nice, but it’s rare to have time to build a community. Nor do people know where to begin when attempting to build one. It can be rather deflating or depressing when you think about it for too long.

Like many people, I often felt like I had no community. It’s hard to identify with a community when you consider yourself a social loner. Sure, I know how to interact with people from different walks of life and I enjoy doing it. Yet, it seemed as though everyone I was surrounded by was part of a picturesque landscaping puzzle, and I was meant for a beach puzzle with none of the similar pieces anywhere to be found.

I knew I belonged to a community, but as the outsider of the community in front of me, it was obvious that I was misplaced and forgotten. It’s extremely awkward and feels like everyone else in that specific “community” knows how awkward you truly are. I know I’m not the only one who has felt this before.

What’s even worse than feeling awkward is the belief that no one cares about you. There’s so many scenarios that play into that belief.

Belittled for not being part of the leadership team at work

Being the only one in the group without a food allergy and having your dietary needs ignored

People consistently voting at the suppression of others.


The list could continue…

So how could you not believe no one cares when you aren’t part of the community in front of you? It’s a feeling I experience from time to time.

However, I’ve since realized that you don’t need to believe you are part of a community to receive support. This lesson hit home several months ago on the first day of school.

❝

You don’t need to be part of the community for people to care. You don’t need to be understood to receive support. All you need to do is show face periodically and exist as you are.

- Terri Huggins

Don’t believe me? Somehow, nearly everyone regardless of residence, relationship, economic status, etc seems to engage in the first day of school antics. The encouragement and excitement during the season of “first days” pour in from all corners.

  • Parents and grandparents await the cute photos of the kids at the bus stop.

  • Teachers receive kind gestures from various towns when asking for donations for their in-class “quiet corner.”

  • Even those who are part of the childfree or childless community show genuine excitement watching the first day of school pictures roll in.

    Despite not fitting in with other parents in my immediate community, I felt supported on the first day. I still felt awkward, but I was supported.

    And it was refreshing yet enlightening…

    Unlike the community support from everyone rallying to fund a GoFundMe when someone falls on hard times, the first day of school is a reminder that life-changing events aren’t necessary for people to lift you up.


    The first day of school exemplifies that community is everywhere and you really don’t need to do much to be a part of it. Beyond that, it demonstrates the existence of community when no tragedy is present. Nor, do you need to embody some arbitrary measurement of excellence. Both are what we commonly see and inspired by when GoFundMe’s for a tragedy or a new business opportunity is fully funded.

    People want to lend support to something beyond them. What’s beyond them is you.

    You don’t need to change who you are. You don’t need to bring on the drama and you don’t need to be the G.O.A.T. Whether or not you are part of a community, a life-changing event isn’t necessary for others to lift you up.

    When necessary, trust that community (even if it’s not your community) will arrive once you are open to it.

    You don’t need to be understood to receive support. All you need to do is show face periodically and exist as you are.

    Sometimes allowing people to care for you comes down to allowing yourself to be seen; no gimmick needed.

Happy Life Tip

Stop calling your job “work.” Even if you enjoy your job, “work” has a negative connotation. Instead, call it something that doesn’t give the ick. Next time you plan to clock in, refer to it as “wealth building” or “leveling up” or “even stacking dollars.” It doesn’t matter what you choose. It only needs to help you feel more joy than “work.”

Interesting links from around the web…
(Some of these may be affiliate links…)
 
The U.S. has a media literacy problem

These displaced Black families need support

You may need this since a lot of sites are being scrubbed from the internet.

Channel the energy from this viral video the next time you go to a wedding.

I’m thinking about joining the happiness movement

Nothing lasts forever. This website offers a guidebook for talking about the end.

Sometimes you don’t need a hotline, but a warm line can help.

Like what I’m doing? Buy me a pizza

Want to work with me? Book a consult

I sincerely hope these links and tips bring you to a better place mentally. If nothing else, please take this with you and repeat it daily as needed.

"It’s ok if I don’t fit in. Different is beautiful."

Know someone who would appreciate the contents of this message? Please forward it to them. The more people this can help, the better!