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- Who are you without a job?
My emails are sporadic, so in case you forgot…
I’m Terri. A nationally published journalist who talks feelings, personal development, and some money tips all wrapped up in empathy.
When was the last time you introduced yourself and didn’t follow your name with your job title or relationship to someone else?
Better yet - Do you even know HOW you would introduce yourself if saying your job title, relationship status, or what you do for others wasn’t an option?
If you don’t know you’re in good company.
We’ve been conditioned to believe titles are everything.
It’s the reason the expected response to “What do you do?” is a job title. The result: We think our jobs define us.
But here’s what can happen in an introduction when your job title doesn’t define you:
“My name is Terri and I’m proudly bold and blunt. I’ve been shamed for it my entire life, but I’ve since learned that it’s one of my best assets. Why? Because being blunt can also be synonymous with being “clear and direct. And this world needs more people with the gift of clarity.”
That’s how I introduced myself during my presentation at a conference in San Jose last month. It was quirky and out-of-pocket, but it exemplified me perfectly.
The introduction was true to who I am. But I’ve arrived at it because I’ve been intentional about learning who I am for myself and not for others.
Trust me, it’s been no easy feat…
I’ve long believed that the question “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” SHOULD be answered by a job title instead of an adjective like “fulfilled,” “happy” or even “athletic.”
To be fair, it’s hard to accept otherwise if you’re constantly presented with shirts that say “#MomLife”, “Daddy’s Girl”, SHE-E-O” or even “Entrepreneurs don’t sleep”.
Take up space and simply exist in this moment as you are. That holds more value than a title ever could.
The only thing scarier than reclaiming your identity is realizing you have no idea who you are.
It’s hard to redefine an identity that isn’t centered on how others see you.
Instead of avoiding it, which was hard, I leaned into it.
It was easier for me to identify who I am for me by listening to what others told me I am.
Criticisms add color to an otherwise black-and-white definition.
They often sound like you’re “too much” of something…
“You’re too talkative.”
“You’re too emotional.”
“You’re too opinionated.”
“You’re too flexible.”
Too much of anything is usually positioned as a negative, though it may not be true.
This is me being “too much” presenting at a conference.
Here’s the truth: What tends to be identified as “too much” can’t be ignored. And what can’t be ignored is undeniably you.
Keep being “too much.” See where it takes you. What feels right to you, yet wrong to everyone else is natural to you.
Be open to educating yourself and refining “too much”. Once you do, you just might find the identity you’ve been searching for — the one that lives beyond a job title.
…The one that will allow you to start a presentation or introduce yourself without leading with mom, partner, or associate.
The benefit?
You may lose the identity that comes with a job title, but you’ll cling to the identity that’s naturally within you.
If being “too much” is a challenge, just exist. Much like in infancy, your presence is enough. You don’t need to perform a title or live up to a characteristic. Take up space and simply exist in this moment as you are. That holds more value than a title ever could.
Read This…
For those of you who are looking to reclaim your identity or just starting to rethink the idea of self-love this blog post is for you. I wrote it many years ago in the infancy of my career so it’s unrefined and flawed, but just another reason to love.
These affirmations are perfect for committing to who you are…
Happy Life Tip
Stop micro-dosing joy
Rewarding yourself with a few minutes of joy after spending the whole day doing something you dread is a common norm. EX: Spent the whole morning updating your work database? Great! You’ve earned 10 minutes of reading your favorite book. Joy isn’t meant to be earned. Joy should be experienced as much as possible. Light a candle every time you clean the kitchen. Or try eating popcorn every time you fold laundry. Find ways to make the things you NEED to do as joyful as possible.
Interesting links from around the web…
(Some may be affiliate links)
I’m a journalist who can’t stand journaling so I use this free app instead.
I found a FREE hotline for parenting, caregiving advice, and support.
This book is so much better for young graduates than “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”
It’s easy to send personalized gifts for any occasion with this company.
See rich kids experience 3 days living on the streets. Very interesting Youtube channel
Want to work with me? Let’s chat.
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I sincerely hope these links and tips bring you to a better place mentally. If nothing else, please take this with you and repeat it daily as needed.
“Whether I become the person I want to be or the person I need to be, the choice is mine.”
Know someone who would appreciate the contents of this message? Please forward it to them. The more people this can help, the better!